I think the most important rule I want to learn about life as I turn 30 is "Changing the things I can change and accepting the things I cannot change." However, I want to digest this motto not for people's characters, but to become competent in the game we play with life. As a matter of fact, I have experienced, at least a little, the wounds that trying to change people can cause within myself.
you will realize how little chance you have of changing others.”Voltaire
If you ask how you came to such a decision, I have been in a spiritually impatient, tired, hopeless and pessimistic vortex for about 1.5 years. Even though my happiness manifests itself in the form of momentary joys, if we put all external factors aside; In general, my inner world is like a meal that has never found its taste.. While my body does not want to wake up in the morning and therefore bears the consequences of not having a healthy breakfast; My soul pays a heavy price for the side effects of rushing to work on my calmness. To all this vicious circle; When we add the metropolitan life and people, I find myself in a chaos, irritability and rush that I cannot define. Although the only reason for the way of life that I am trying to summarize in a few sentences here is not only my own flaws, I realized that some salvation was hidden only in me, as some of my valued social relationships were unfortunately damaged. While life does not treat everyone with the same generosity and luck, I think our duty is to keep our inner peace alive in the face of all this.
That's why I wanted to start with the things I could change.
Morning Routine
There is only one thing that many foreign bloggers I read about personal development on the Medium platform insist on: Wake up early and create your own Morning Routine .
If you love sleep like me and other members of your family don't have this type of habit, I'm sorry it won't be easy. Moreover, if there is no pet or someone at home to force you to do this, you are left alone with your own discipline. I have read in many posts that I need to acquire this habit in small steps, such as 15 minutes or half an hour before waking up early in the morning. I can also feel that this habit can help many other matters get in order.
The things everyone wants to do in the early hours of the day, when they are just with themselves, will undoubtedly vary. There are not many things I want to add to my morning routine at first, because a long list that is tried to be implemented immediately may result in getting bored quickly in the short term. So for now, except for exceptional days:
- 15 minutes of yoga exercise (Although I have been registered to a workshop for 1 year, this channel on Youtube is very useful)
- 5 minutes meditation ( I use a program called App Store-Headspace for meditation .)
- Breakfast
I determined it as . If I can accomplish these in a certain period of time and order, I plan to make new additions. I started to implement this habit in my business life as of 12.09.17 (today):)
Note: This post on the subject is quite detailed. See
Minimal Life
I continue my reading on this subject, both theoretically and from lived experiences. But I can say that I am seriously bored of consuming, buying, and a crowded collection of people and things.
I happily started working on this title, since the third week of July on average; Any cosmetics, clothes, etc. except if I need them. I haven't bought anything and for now my first goal is to maintain this situation until January, and then I will decide in January. Of course, my ultimate goal is to make this a way of life, apart from some small spoils. Frankly, even in this short period of time, I can observe from both social media and my surroundings what kind of consumption and unfulfilled lives people lead. The best way to observe some things is to get out of that situation, just like someone who quit smoking becomes uncomfortable with the smell of cigarettes after a while.
In addition, I will do extensive cleaning and organizing in my home in the coming weeks to minimize my life. I feel like some freshness would be much better for the energy of the house. I intend to start with the jewelry, clothes and stationery waiting to be thrown away that I don't use.
However, let's talk about the problem of minimalization in terms of "human" , which is the most difficult part of this title . As I previously stated in my article titled -Feeling More Valuable III./Ability to Set Boundaries and Cleanliness- , I have a problem with getting along with everyone. However, I have deeply experienced how damaging this is to the human soul. Without delving into the psychological analysis of this situation, I can say that at this stage where I am trying to transform my life; who makes me uneasy, who does not bring me anything positive, who tries to be with me for his own interests, who does not take into account that my heart may be broken. I think it would be better for my mental health to remove people from my life if I can, and if I cannot, to set boundaries by showing my justified reaction. Because your friends who love you for who you are and are with you do not have such negative tendencies anyway.
In conclusion, I think moving from chaos to calmness, from excess to simplicity is like a breath of fresh air for a person to return to the essence.
“Being happy is very simple; But living simply is very difficult.” Tagore
Note: You can find popular posts on the subject according to the clap rate under this title. See
Less Social Media
For posts about the term "procrastination" , which I have been seriously struggling with in the process of transforming my life, see : The fierce enemy of the syndrome is undoubtedly "social media".
Even though I, like everyone else, am happy to some extent to use my social media accounts and communicate with people in some way, the gap between people's real existence and the non-existence they want to show does not go beyond overwhelming me at the moment. Recently, although I have been using some of my social media accounts to receive corporate announcements faster, I have been using some of them for my hobby of photography, which I am devoted to, and I continue to remind myself how important it is to maintain these boundaries in order to stop the flow of time and unnecessary information.
In the process in question, I put aside my habit of watching the endless movie of the "fake" lives of people who have contributed nothing to me - perhaps I don't know at all - without looking up from my phone; My social media accounts will have a positive impact on my personal and hobby development; However, I want to use my time in a way that I can keep under control. In this way, I believe that I will be able to spend more time on my home or professional work, which I need to finish first, and even on some of my hobbies, and this will turn me into a less stressed person.
Evening Routine
I have read in many articles that the most important condition of a good morning routine is actually a good evening routine. It is a fact that the majority of people who have problems with getting up early in the morning also have problems with going to bed or sleeping early at night. I am already a person in this group.
Coming home tired after an unproductive morning, a stressful day, the time I spent on social media, and the work I have to finish, I often cannot understand how the clock shows 01:00. Thus, I neither have time to watch an episode of my favorite TV series in the evening nor to finish that never-ending book. Even though I love reading books.
For these reasons, except for exceptional evenings (fun with friends, visiting guests, etc.), from now on, I set my bedtime as 24:00 at the latest, and do not use any electronic devices until one hour before this time, except for compulsory situations, and if I am not very tired. One of my goals is to fall asleep by reading a book.
Apart from all these, the idea of adding a warm milk, a glass of wine, or maybe a good movie to this routine is also quite reasonable.
Conclusion
As a result of all these topics, I can say that although it takes an average of 21 days for a person to change their existing habits, knowing that this process will not be easy at all, I will try to transform my life for now by diversifying these main points and their subheadings. I don't know right now whether I can be successful or what the spiritual contribution of all this will be to me. However, I do not intend to be hopeless at all (unlike my pessimistic character). After all, even deciding to make a change is a starting point for change.
On average, at best, I do not intend to spend my short life of 70-80 years with military discipline, I just feel that some rituals will make my life more productive, and I can observe this in people who have achieved this. There have been and will be more difficult, turbulent and unfortunately sad periods in all of our lives. Perhaps striving for a healthy mental health in ordinary times will make it a little easier for us to stand stronger and stronger in extraordinary times.
What I mean is, I am trying to weave a new cocoon in my life, maybe then my soul can become a butterfly that can fly and be free. I hope I will be successful.
If you, too, feel lost in this endless chaos of life and need to calm down, perhaps this humble path I have drawn can give you some idea.
Note: I am planning to create a new post about the results and development of all these topics in approximately 3 weeks, to the extent that I can achieve them. I hope I can get a good response.
0 Comments