Self-esteem, the respect a person feels for himself and the value he gives to himself at every point of life, is a fundamental element that affects the emotional and psychological happiness of his life.
Improving one's own self-esteem forms the basis for a person to live a strong, peaceful and healthy life. Self-esteem appears as an important element that affects the lives of almost all of us. It is associated with many factors, from emotional balance to academic success, from healthy relationships to personal satisfaction. Self-esteem forms an important personality foundation that shapes a person's inner world and enables them to establish stronger relationships with the outside world.
Lack of self-esteem creates an environment where negative thought patterns affect people with low self-esteem more and can lead to an unhealthy lifestyle. However, when self-esteem is developed, the doors to personal growth, self-esteem and stronger social relationships are opened.
What is Self Esteem?
Self-esteem can be defined as one's ability to recognize and understand one's own value and to honor oneself by accepting this value. Being at peace with oneself means respecting one's own abilities and skills, emotions, thought patterns, values, and one's own appearance.
The basic point of self-esteem is that a person can develop a positive perspective towards himself . Knowing oneself, realizing one's strengths, accepting and improving one's weaknesses and deficiencies without ignoring them are the first steps to be taken for self-esteem. Instead of determining one's own value only based on external factors, realizing one's own inner value and striving to develop and accept one's own identity helps self-esteem to be built on a solid foundation.
Self-esteem is one of the prerequisites for a person to create a healthy lifestyle . In this way, they can establish healthier bilateral relations and better maintain their own emotional balance. At this point, it significantly affects the quality of life.
Self-esteem simply begins with having positive thoughts about oneself. In this way, he develops his ability to value himself and can continue to live his life without being dependent on anyone else's approval or help. It allows the person to develop his/her own unique identity without depending on external factors .
Self-esteem also improves one's ability to recognize one's own limits and needs. When a person is self-respecting or gains self-esteem, he pays attention to his own needs and does not hesitate to take the necessary steps to meet these needs. At this point, the person can draw his own boundaries where necessary . It can protect itself against external factors when necessary. Self-esteem also develops respect for one's own abilities and skills. Self-confidence and self-esteem are related concepts. If a person trusts himself, he will not hesitate to try new things, have new experiences, set new goals and make efforts to achieve these goals. At this point, he accepts his own successes and failures and is open to learning from every experience, good or bad. With self-esteem, a person knows better how to deal with criticism made towards him. It can turn criticism into something positive in itself. Self-esteem is a characteristic that every person can develop throughout their life , and it requires effort to discover one's identity, understand one's own value and love oneself. With self-esteem, a person values himself more and pays more attention to his own abilities, emotional state, physical appearance, and areas of interest. He takes steps to further improve himself in this regard. At the same time, a person who respects himself can develop the ability to respect others around him and avoid toxic relationships by creating healthy relationships.
Why is Self-Esteem Important?
Self-esteem refers to a person's awareness of his worth and his belief in his own abilities and values. Therefore, it affects the person's quality of life, bilateral relations, achievements and emotional state. The emotional balance of a person who is aware of his own value and loves himself will be better. Lack of self-esteem can form the basis of many psychological disorders.
Self-esteem also improves one's self- confidence . A person who is confident in himself believes that he can cope with the difficulties he will encounter in his life. Their self-esteem will also improve as they will overcome difficulties more easily.
Self-esteem affects a person's bilateral relationships. A person who lacks self-respect may tend to maintain toxic relationships by being more likely to interact with people who tend to mistreat them. People with healthy self-esteem do not tend to maintain relationships with people who mistreat them, and they take steps to establish healthier relationships and improve themselves.
Self-esteem is crucial for effective communication in one's life. People who respect themselves can express themselves better, and their friendships and family relationships are healthier . Instead of objecting to other people's opinions, they respect them. However, while respecting them, one does not tend to compare one's life with the lives of others. They even make their own decisions independently of others. Someone who respects himself takes better care of himself. Adopts a healthier lifestyle. Becomes more aware of the consequences of harmful habits. And they make an effort to stay away from these harmful habits.
When a person respects himself, he has more self-discipline and is easier to motivate himself. This makes it easier for the person to achieve goals and makes the person more determined.
People with good self-esteem are generally happier in their lives, have a more positive outlook, and have more balanced emotional states. These people are less likely to suffer from psychological disorders such as depression or anxiety.
Self-esteem helps a person better cope with stressful situations they may encounter. People with self-esteem are more resilient to the difficulties they encounter in their lives, as they will have higher self-confidence. They do not give up easily and their emotional state is not easily affected negatively.
Self-esteem also increases a person's emotional resilience . People who respect themselves have a stronger stance against negative criticism and the difficulties they will encounter. This helps the person recover faster in difficult times.
Self-esteem makes a person more open to learning and development. Self-respecting people are not afraid to face their own mistakes and even learn from their mistakes and look at life with more experience. For this reason, they create the opportunity for faster learning and personal development.
Therefore, self-esteem is a fundamental characteristic that affects many aspects of a person's life. Understanding, accepting and developing one's own value and abilities is an important factor in advancing one's own personal development. Self-esteem is an important and important feature that affects a person's general quality of life, emotional balance, relationships with people around him, success in his life and psychological health. Therefore, improving one's own self-esteem, protecting it and being aware of oneself leads one to both psychological and physical improvement in one's life.
Characteristics of People with High Self-Esteem
- People with high self-esteem are confident in their own abilities and the decisions they will make in life. This confidence allows people to be more assertive and courageous when making decisions about their lives.
- He has a positive perspective. They exhibit a positive approach towards both themselves and the people around them.
- They accept themselves as they are. They are aware of their strengths and weaknesses. They make an effort to improve these aspects. They do not blame themselves for their weaknesses.
- People who have self-respect for themselves have no difficulty in respecting others.
- They are open to criticism and do not take criticism personally. Instead, they see criticism as an opportunity and try to improve themselves.
- They adopt a healthy lifestyle. They try to take good care of themselves both physically and psychologically. Maintaining a healthy lifestyle increases their self-esteem.
- They work for the goal they set for themselves and do not despair easily. They appreciate themselves and their achievements.
- People with high self-esteem have healthy social relationships. They establish positive and healthy relationships with others.
- A person with high self-esteem also has developed empathy skills, that is, the ability to understand the feelings of others and be understanding towards them.
- They become more calm and solution-oriented in the face of negative situations they encounter. Their ability to cope with stress has improved.
- They attach importance and value to their personal beliefs and personal values.
- They set their own boundaries and know how to say "no" when necessary to deal with people who do not respect their boundaries.
- People with high self-esteem are willing to support others where necessary. They can easily congratulate others' successes.
People with high self-esteem love, respect and value themselves and treat others the same way. This helps them build healthier relationships and live a happier, healthier life.
What are the symptoms of lack of self-esteem?
Considering oneself worthless and unimportant and belittling one's own abilities and skills is a symptom of lack of self-esteem. Oversensitivity to criticism from others can be a sign of lack of self-esteem. The person may be vulnerable by being overly defensive or overly sensitive to criticism.
Along with low self-esteem, the person may also have difficulty trusting himself. For this reason, he/she may experience shyness in social relationships in social environments . The person can criticize himself mercilessly. He may exhibit thoughts and behaviors that will bring him down. This may also indicate low self-esteem.
People with low self-esteem do not believe they can be successful. They always act with the thought that they will fail. He has a negative perspective.
The person experiences a lack of interest in taking care of himself. Neglecting personal care and personal development may be symptoms of lack of self-esteem.
Examples of Lack of Self-Esteem
- The person is reluctant to speak or present in front of a group and is worried that others will criticize or dislike it.
- When a person withdraws from a job interview because he/she feels unsuccessful or inadequate.
- A person remains silent in a community or avoids expressing their ideas freely, worried that others will not take their ideas seriously.
- Being under pressure to be perfect in the eyes of other people and constantly seeking their approval.
- Constantly blaming and criticizing oneself instead of accepting one's mistakes and learning from them.
- Constantly belittling oneself because of one's physical appearance or thinking that one is less beautiful than other people.
- A person constantly puts the needs of others before his own needs and does not respect his own boundaries.
- A person avoids taking risks and is closed to new opportunities due to lack of self-esteem.
- A person constantly hesitates to express his/her own opinions and constantly apologizes thinking that he/she has been misunderstood.
- The person is closed to criticism made by others and cannot see these criticisms positively.
- Always belittling one's own achievements and comparing one's own achievements with others.
- Being constantly compared to others in order to be better than others and being under stress due to this situation.
- Always blaming external factors instead of accepting one's own mistakes.
- Instead of exploring a hobby or interest, a person avoids trying because of the thought "I can't be good at this."
- The person frequently dwells on past mistakes and always brings them up.
Examples of Self-Esteem
- Talking positively about oneself and giving positive feedback.
- Respecting one's own feelings, thoughts and point of view.
- He cares about his own ideas and thoughts.
- Exploring his interests and hobbies and tending to improve his weaknesses.
- Being able to create a private space for oneself.
- Being aware of one's own limits and being able to say "no" when necessary.
- Not ignoring one's own needs while taking others into consideration.
- Being able to see the criticisms made towards him as a development opportunity for himself.
- Ability to transform negative thoughts into positive thoughts.
- Celebrating his own successes and taking good care of himself physically and spiritually.
How to Gain Self-Esteem?
Self-respect begins with finding oneself valuable, accepting and respecting oneself, one's values and beliefs, feelings, thoughts and perspective. This situation is related to the person being aware of his own abilities and skills, understanding his values and feeling self-confident in this regard. Self-esteem is an element that begins to take shape from a person's childhood . It develops and changes with the person throughout life. Family, friends, teachers and the person's environment are effective in the development of self-esteem. A child who grows up and develops in a positive and self-esteem family environment begins to gain more self-confidence and develops self-esteem as he gets older. Otherwise, a child growing up in a negative family structure and environment may not have enough self-confidence and self-esteem. He may experience a lack of self-esteem.
The most basic condition for gaining self-esteem is knowing oneself. A person should be aware of his own strengths and weaknesses, be able to accept himself as such, and strive for his own personal development. This allows the person to gain self-respect. This can also help a person set their own goals, improve their skills, and move forward in a positive way.
In order to gain self-esteem, it is necessary to first get away from negative thoughts . A person should be able to criticize himself, but he should not do this to further increase his negative thoughts. He should take these criticisms positively and realize that they are for his own development. He needs to have positive self-talk. For example, instead of “I am a failure, I will fail again”, “I may also have failures. These are experiences for me. Using positive statements such as "I can learn from it and move on better" can increase self-esteem.
One of the other conditions for gaining self-esteem is that the person feels good. A person must nourish himself, both physically and psychologically. Adopting a healthy lifestyle can help a person feel better. Helping others and making others happy without neglecting their own limits increases personal satisfaction. Therefore, self-esteem may also improve. Self-esteem can also be strengthened by personal achievements. When a person sees that he has achieved the small goals he has set for himself, he should celebrate these successes. When these goals are achieved, a person's self-confidence increases.
Self-esteem is a lifelong emotion. It can always be improved. It helps a person feel better and live a happier life.
Ways to Increase Self-Esteem
Know Yourself: The first condition for increasing self-esteem is to know and accept yourself with your strengths and weaknesses. This gives the person the chance to improve his strengths and improve his weaknesses. This increases your self-esteem because the person becomes more aware of his skills and his own limitations. This acceptance forms the basis of your self-esteem.
It is very important to understand emotional and physical needs. The process of getting to know oneself can help one recognize negative thought patterns and change these negative patterns. When a person transforms negative patterns towards himself into positive ones, he can develop a more positive self-esteem.
At the same time, knowing oneself helps the person gain emotional awareness. With emotional awareness, he understands both his own emotions and the emotions of those around him more easily. It causes the development of bilateral relations. In this case, it forms the basis of self-esteem.
Positive Conversations: Positive conversations with oneself help a person develop a healthier self-esteem. Positive conversations increase one's self-belief. In this way, the person holds more tightly to his own abilities and values. Using positive expressions such as "I am successful, I can succeed" and "I am valuable" towards oneself will save one's self-esteem from negative effects.
While negative self-talk constantly creates anxiety and uncertainty in the person, positive self-talk causes a more relaxed and happy emotional state. This may contribute to increased self-esteem.
Positive conversations with oneself can help a person become more motivated. Using positive expressions helps a person set small goals for himself and improves his motivation to celebrate his successes when he achieves these goals.
Do Not Ignore Achievements: Remembering one's own achievements and being proud of them increases one's self-confidence and therefore one's self-esteem. Thinking about successes helps a person generate positive statements and thoughts about himself. It also allows the person to become more motivated to achieve future goals.
Remembering achievements is an effective way to increase self-esteem. But this doesn't mean staying stuck in past successes. At the same time, one should focus on future goals and work for new achievements. Remembering successes is a tool that motivates a person and helps build healthier self-esteem.
Set Goals: When a person sets achievable and meaningful goals for himself, the desire to achieve these goals increases. Achieving goals increases self-esteem because when success is seen, one's self-confidence increases. Achieving a goal can lead to opportunities to learn new skills or improve existing abilities. This increases self-esteem. Because seeing a person improve himself has a positive effect.
Achieving goals helps a person enjoy success. When a person feels successful, their self-esteem also increases because seeing and celebrating their own successes increases a person's self-esteem. Goals that are achieved and appreciated by others increase self-esteem and increase one's self-worth.
Setting one's own goals motivates oneself. It encourages the person towards his/her own personal development, concretizes the achievements and creates a positive self-talk in the person. Therefore, setting achievable and meaningful goals is an important step in strengthening one's self-esteem.
Self-Care: Paying attention to one's self-care means that one attaches importance to oneself and one's personal care. When a person feels better, his self-esteem improves along with his self-confidence. Having a healthy body can increase one's self-confidence because it shows that they value their health.
Set Your Boundaries: Being able to set personal boundaries is very important for self-esteem. Because having personal boun
daries means that a person can respect his own private space and his own needs. If a person protects his boundaries when he sees a negative attitude towards him, he will also protect his self-esteem. In addition, thanks to the boundaries, the person is kept away from taking on all the stress around him that is not necessary for him. This helps them become more emotionally robust.
Don't Neglect Personal Development: Personal development provides a person with opportunities to learn new skills, discover new interests and develop existing talents. These opportunities allow a person to increase his success and better use and develop his own potential. Gaining the appreciation of others is also a factor that increases self-esteem. Appreciating one's own development and achievements and honoring oneself also reinforces self-esteem.
The personal development process helps the person to know himself better and accept himself as he is. This provides a better understanding of strengths and weaknesses. It also makes the person more resilient to the difficulties they will encounter.
Get Support from an Expert: Therapy is effective in identifying and changing negative thoughts and perspectives. Looking at and addressing one's negative thoughts about oneself with an expert can help transform these thoughts into more positive and constructive thoughts. This positively affects self-esteem.
It can improve people's skills in accepting themselves and not blaming themselves for the slightest failure. This skill forms the basis of self-esteem because self-esteem begins with accepting oneself.
Perfectionism: Being a perfectionist can cause a person to constantly feel unsuccessful, inadequate, and not good enough. This situation can create constant dissatisfaction and become a source of stress in the person's life. This can negatively affect self-esteem.
People often face the fear of failure in their lives because they always try to achieve perfect results from themselves and over-increase others' expectations from them. Failure can seriously affect their self-esteem.
Don't Compare: When a person stops comparing, he/she has the opportunity to better understand and accept his/her own value. Comparing oneself to others often emphasizes one's own shortcomings and weaknesses. However, when a person develops the skill of not making comparisons , he begins to appreciate his own abilities and personal qualities.
Making comparisons can often lead to negative emotional reactions such as jealousy, lack of self-esteem, and depression due to feelings of inadequacy. When one does not make comparisons, one stays away from these negative emotional reactions. At the same time, making comparisons involves constantly being in competition with the people around you. When a person does not make comparisons, he can establish more moderate and healthy relationships with the people around him. Therefore, focusing on one's own achievements, talents, interests and oneself without comparison has a positive effect on self-esteem.
Self Esteem Therapy Method
Cognitive behavioral therapy is effectively applied in self-esteem therapy . Cognitive behavioral therapy aims to help the person identify negative thoughts about himself and replace these thoughts with more positive and constructive thoughts. It involves teaching how negative thoughts cause emotional reactions in a person and how these emotional reactions can be managed.
Cognitive behavioral therapy can also help reduce the emotional stress and emotional burdens a person experiences due to self-criticism or negative thoughts about themselves. It gives the person the ability to have positive internal dialogue. Because having a kind and positive attitude towards oneself affects one's self-esteem positively.
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